成功是自己对自己的认可

文/郭建兰

      自从有人的文明以来，对成功的解读就没有停歇过。每个人心中都有着自己的答案。但大部分人把成功看成了别人口中的表扬，眼中的羡慕和社会的赞誉，其实成功就是自己对自己的认可，没有自己的认可，无论取得多大的成就你都不会感到是成功。

      在每个人的成长过程中，都经历过参照别人比对自己，心跟从别人，盲目攀比，设置不合理的目标，挫败，迷茫，顿悟，重新设置坐标，享受人生的过程。很多人迷茫了一辈子没有顿悟，很多人顿悟了，也享受了生活。      你的人生坐标一定是由你设定的，别人最多是你的参照。坐标的设定一定要根据自身条件，资源禀赋等客观因素以及自己的能力进行合理设定，否则就会让自己陷入永远的挫败感中不能自拔。

      我的两位乡党就是清醒的人生坐标设定者，而且事实证明是成功者。

     一个是史圣司马迁，他给自己设定的人生坐标就是完成《史记》，让中国3000年的历史有一个最全面最客观的记述。所以他可以因为坚持正确观点忍受人之大辱，也没有被威逼利诱所折服，最终完成《史记》。在当时的世俗者眼中，司马迁绝对是大傻瓜，甚至是精神病患者，是彻彻底底的失败者，但因为他自己设定了自己的人生坐标，他认可了自己，即使所有人不理解，不认可也无所谓。2000多年过去了，没有人说司马迁是个失败者，和他当朝有多少达官贵人，文人骚客，清高雅士，巨贾财团，人们只记住了司马迁，他的祠墓的香火胜过了汉武帝，所以说，世人皆醉，唯他独醒，他觉得自己是成功者，事实上他确实是一个成功者。     还有一个人就是清朝宰相王杰，他是乾隆嘉庆时期的两朝宰相，清朝250多年西北地区唯一的状元，乾隆钦点，也是嘉庆的老师。他按说可以给自己设置很高的人生坐标，但是他是个清醒者，他也以乡党司马迁为楷模，给自己设定了不管官做多大，必须一尘不染，两袖清风返故里。事实上，最可能为权柄陶醉，被金钱腐蚀的王杰，一生刚正不阿，虽然得罪了很多官员，但依然遵从自己的内心。他的清廉和同朝贪婪的和珅形成了鲜明的对比，一次上朝，王杰在一个角落内暖手，和珅为了讨好王杰，走过来握着王杰的手说：宰相，你的手这么柔软，生得真好啊！王杰冷冷回答：手是好，但不能拿钱。和珅非常尴尬。乾隆去世后，嘉庆继位，和珅入狱，王杰担任主审，最后判和珅满门抄斩，民谣“和珅跌倒，嘉庆吃饱”就说的此事。看到王杰肃清了权倾一时，富可敌国的和珅，满朝文武皆惊。王杰76岁，辞官返乡，嘉庆挽留，特许他持杖上朝，三年后坚辞被允，临行上书整顿吏治，肃清腐败。嘉庆赐给王杰一把乾隆帝的御用手杖，并御笔亲书两句诗“直道一身立庙宇，清风两袖返韩城”，以表彰王杰的清正廉洁，实为当官之楷模。王杰80大寿，嘉庆皇帝亲书贺匾派陕西巡抚方维甸带着贺诗和珠宝至韩城家中贺寿。王杰一生清廉，而且善终，显然也是成功的，和珅好像在当时被世俗认为是成功的，当被满门抄斩时又有多少人再说他是成功的。

     一段时间以来，市场上流行了什么《厚黑学》、《成功学》，不断教化人们拔高人生目标，为了目标不择手段，为了可能永远实现不了的目标去奋斗。不可否认，这是一种激发人潜能的方法，但不是所有人都需要被激励。直至现在，很多培训课程和训练其实是反人类和违背人性的成长和文明进步的。     我经常给人讲，中国文化有几个糟粕是需要甄别的。一个是奴性，就是从来没有自己的主见，跟从比自己混得好的人，且很容易沦为别人事实上的奴婢；一个是盲从，就是随大流，中国人是看见别人什么好就去做什么，从来不问问自己真正适合什么？最需要的是什么？比如崇洋迷外，比如留学热；一个是无意识，这是中国人最为可怕的劣根性，大部分对自己的人生缺乏整体思考，缺乏冷静地定位，更没有人生坐标，一切都是“难得糊涂”。这样的人生表面看好像是一种境界，其实是一种无奈和逃避。当你认为自己的人生可以无为的时候，也是你走向堕落的开始。因为每一个人都是身存使命，不去践行使命的人生其实真的是多余的人生。这种无意识行为要坚决摒弃，人生不但不能糊涂，还要清醒，要清醒认清自己和自己能够实现的目标。任何奴性心理、无为或者盲从都是人生的大敌。

     因此看来成功绝对不是别人给你的，是自己给自己的。一个人的成就感来源于自己给自己设定的人生目标一个个实现的激动和满足感。

    人生坐标的设定是一个科学、严谨的过程，也不是每个人随便就可以完成的，他需要拥有智慧，高人指点，良师益友的帮助和自己冷静的分析，最终形成客观的坐标。就如国家发展的坐标，就是百年大计，中国改革开放总设计师设计了中国近百年的坐标，党的十九大再次明确了未来30年的坐标。如果没有一个坐标，摸着石头过河那确实是很危险的。这个坐标还要随时根据环境的变化而做出调整。

     大部分人的成功就是考上一流大学，找个稳定工作，拥有可观收入，娶个贤惠妻子，生个孝顺孩子，最后就是健康快乐生活，颐养天年。

有的人的成功就是大胆创业，不断追求，积累财富，笑傲人生。

有的人的成功就是教书育人，授人玫瑰，燃烧自己，照亮别人。

有的人的成功就是保家卫国，无怨无悔，牺牲自己，捍卫和平；

有的人的成功就是小富即安，小家碧玉，相夫教子，平安一生；

有的人的成功就是消除病患，拯救生命，他人欢笑，自己幸福；

有的人的成功就是讲述故事，启迪人生，广开民智，幸福众生；

有的人的成功就是甘为公仆，呕心沥血，鞠躬尽瘁，死而后已；

有的人的成功就是甘做人梯，付出所有，成就他人，磨灭自己；

有的人的成功就是默默无闻，不懈探索，拥抱科学，造福人类；

     太多太多的人和太多太多的成功，每一个都不是轻轻松松可以得来的。如今有很多能够从上代人手上接续的成功禀赋，就更要珍惜，前人走过的弯路，尽可能不走，要善于从前人身上汲取营养，善于不断加强对新环境的研判，能够抵御风险，掌握成功的天平。

     也有一部分人，可能比例很小，但危害很大，就是把歪门邪道，巧取豪托，坑蒙拐骗，唯利是图，贪污腐败，祸国殃民作为走向个人成功的捷径，把通过不正当手段获取巨额财富作为成功的标志，这是与人类文明的发展方向背道而驰的，任何想通过损坏别人利益达到自己利益的设定都是错误的，也是没有前途的。我们要鞭挞这些有着不正确成功观的人们，苦海无涯，回头是岸，别再在黑暗的深渊沉沦。

     我不能够说的太多太具体，因为每个人都是一个独特的个体，每个人都有自己独特的人生。但有几样东西是走向成功的法宝，那就是自信、坚持、精进、坚韧、不放弃；有几样东西是成功的守护神，那就是善良、自省、知止、利他，不贪婪。有了这几样东西，就会离成功越来越近。

     你的人生坐标是什么？你设定了吗？如果设定了，你就会随着一个个人生目标的实现随时感受到奋斗的乐趣，成功的喜悦和人生的成就感！

记住，成功是自己对自己的认可。

编辑评价：作家、策划家、创业家郭建兰的散文集《想说就说》由著名作家贾平凹题写书名，著名文化学者商子雍、阎建滨、纪方写序，全书40万字，以作者真实的生活阅历和人生思考，从思想篇、人生篇、经济篇、情感篇、人物篇、社会篇、文化篇和歌唱篇八个方面给读者提供了一个丰满有温度的郭建兰的人生映照和人生智慧。本书最大的特点就是不说假话，涵盖作者40多年来的人生创业经历和生命感悟，体现了作者对时代旋律的准确把握，对生活激流的敏锐感受，对正能量文学价值观矢志不渝的坚守，对人的生存和人性生态感性而又深刻的思考。

作者简介：郭建兰，男，1970年7月13日生于陕西韩城。作家，编剧，导演，社会活动家，资深媒体人，文旅专家，策划家，管理学博士。中国致公党陕西省委委员，中国公共关系协会常务理事，中国文化管理协会演艺工作委员会副会长，陕西省社区文化建设促进会会长，陕西省作家协会会员，陕西省少儿文学院院长，陕西中艺美文化旅游投资有限公司董事长兼总裁。30余年累计创作各类文学作品超过200万字，策划和实施大型文化旅游项目300余个。担任总策划、编剧、出品人并打造舞剧《大长安》《西安之夜》《汉中之恋》《汉中之夜》等，累计演出3000余场次。创作歌曲《大中华》《千秋太史公》《叫一声农民好兄弟》《大长安》等，被广为传唱。20余年来从事社会公益慈善事业，累计捐款200余万元，向西安市社区群众免费发放价值2000余万元的演出门票。被媒体誉为“策神”，被评为“中国十大策划领军人物”“中国文化管理行业百强”。

Success is self-recognition.

Author/Guo Jianlan

Since some people's civilization, the interpretation of success has never stopped. Everyone has his own answer in his heart. But most people regard success as praise from other people, envy in eyes and praise from society. In fact, success is their own recognition of themselves. Without their own recognition, no matter how much achievement you have made, you will not feel successful.

In the course of each person's growth, they have experienced the process of comparing themselves with others, following others blindly, setting unreasonable goals, frustration, confusion, insight, resetting coordinates and enjoying life. Many people have been confused for a lifetime without epiphany, many people have epiphany, and enjoy life.

Your life coordinates must be set by you, others are your reference at most. The coordinates must be set reasonably according to their own conditions, resources, endowments and other objective factors as well as their abilities, otherwise they will plunge themselves into perpetual frustration.

My two townships are sober life coordinate setters, and the facts prove to be successful.

One is Shi Sheng Sima Qian, who set his own coordinates of life to complete the Historical Records, so that China's 3000-year history can have a most comprehensive and objective description. So he can endure the great humiliation of others because he insists on the correct viewpoint, and is not convinced by coercion and lure, and finally complete the Historical Records. In the eyes of the secular people at that time, Sima Qian was absolutely a fool, even a mental patient, a thorough failure, but because he set his own life coordinates, he recognized himself, even if everyone did not understand, it does not matter. More than 2000 years later, no one said Sima Qian was a failure, and how many officials and dignitaries, literati poets, elegant scholars, giant conglomerates in his dynasty, people only remember Sima Qian, the incense of his ancestral tomb is better than Emperor Wudi of Han Dynasty, so the world is drunk, only he wakes up, he thinks he is a success, in fact, he is a success.

Another person is Wang Jie, the Prime Minister of the Qing Dynasty. He was the Prime Minister of the two dynasties during the Qianlong and Jiaqing dynasties. He was the only champion in the northwest of the Qing Dynasty for more than 250 years. Qianlong Qindian was also the teacher of Jiaqing. He was supposed to set a high life coordinate for himself, but he was a sober man. He also set a model for Sima Qian, the township party. No matter how big the official was, he had to be spotless and return to his hometown with clean sleeves. In fact, Wang Jie, most likely intoxicated with power and corrupted by money, was upright all his life. Although he offended many officials, he still obeyed his heart. His honesty was in sharp contrast to the greedy harmony of the same dynasty. Once, Wang Jie warmed his hands in a corner. He came to Wang Jie to please him, and took his hand and said, "Prime Minister, your hands are so soft, so good to be born!" Wang Jie answered coldly: The hand is good, but can't take money. He Jing was very embarrassed. After Qianlong's death, Jiaqing succeeded to the throne and He Jing was imprisoned. Wang Jie served as the chief judge. He was finally sentenced to chop the door full. The ballad "He Jing falls, Jiaqing is full of food" said this. Seeing Wang Jie purge power for a while, the Manchu Dynasty was shocked by the harmony between the rich and the enemy. Wang Jie, 76, resigned and returned home. He was retained in Jiaqing. He was allowed to go to court with a stick. Three years later, he insisted on his words and wrote a book to rectify officials and eliminate corruption. Jiaqing gave Wang Jie an imperial walking stick of Emperor Qianlong, and wrote two poems in his own hand: "Straight way to stand in a temple, clean wind to return to Hancheng", in order to praise Wang Jie's honesty and integrity, which is really a model for official. Wang Jie's 80th birthday was celebrated by Fang Weidian, governor of Shaanxi Province, sent by Emperor Jiaqing to his home in Hancheng with his poems and jewelry. Wang Jie was honest all his life, and his good ending was obviously successful. He Jin seemed to be considered successful by the common people at that time. How many people said that he was successful when he was chopped off by all kinds of people?

For some time, what is popular in the market, "Thick Undergraduates" and "Success Studies", constantly educating people to upgrade their life goals, to strive for goals by all means, and for goals that may never be achieved. Admittedly, this is a way to stimulate people's potential, but not everyone needs to be motivated. Up to now, many training courses and training are actually anti-human and anti-human growth and civilization progress.

I often tell people that there are several dross in Chinese culture that need to be screened. One is slavery, that is, they never have their own opinions, follow the better people than themselves, and easily become other people's de facto slaves; the other is blind obedience, that is, follow the general trend, the Chinese people see what others do, never ask what they really fit for? What do you need most? For example, foreign fans, such as the study abroad craze; one is the unconscious, which is the most terrible root of the Chinese people, most of their lives lack of overall thinking, a lack of calm positioning, and no coordinates of life, everything is "rare confusion". This kind of life seems to be a realm on the surface, but in fact it is a kind of helplessness and escape. When you think you can do nothing in your life, it's also the beginning of your downfall. Because everyone is on a mission, not to practice life is really redundant life. This unconscious behavior should be firmly abandoned. Life should not only be confused, but also sober. We should be clear about ourselves and the goals we can achieve. Any servile mentality, inaction or blind obedience is the enemy of life.

So it seems that success is not given to you by others, but to yourself. A person's sense of achievement comes from the excitement and satisfaction that he has set for himself to achieve his life goals one by one.

Setting the coordinates of life is a scientific and rigorous process, which can not be accomplished by everyone at will. He needs wisdom, superior guidance, the help of good teachers and friends, and his calm analysis to form the objective coordinates. Just like the coordinates of national development, that is, the century-long plan, the chief designer of China's reform and opening-up has designed the coordinates of China for nearly a hundred years, and the Nineteenth National Congress of the Communist Party of China has once again defined the coordinates of the next 30 years. If there is no coordinate, it is really dangerous to feel the stone across the river. This coordinate should be adjusted according to the change of environment at any time.

The success of most people is to enter a first-class university, find a stable job, have a considerable income, marry a virtuous wife, give birth to a filial child, and finally live a healthy and happy life.

Some people's success is bold entrepreneurship, constant pursuit, accumulation of wealth, laughing proud of life.

Some people's success is to teach and educate people, to give people roses, to burn themselves, to illuminate others.

Some people's success is to defend their country without complaint or regret, sacrifice themselves and safeguard peace.

Some people's success is that a little rich is safe, a small family is jasper, a husband teaches his son, a safe life;

Some people's success is to eliminate illness, save lives, laugh at others, and be happy.

Some people's success is telling stories, enlightening life, broadening people's wisdom and happiness of all living beings.

Some people's success is to be willing to be a servant, painstakingly, devotedly, and after death.

Some people's success is to be willing to be a ladder, to pay all, to achieve others, to wear themselves down;

Some people's success is unknown, unremitting exploration, embracing science for the benefit of mankind;

Too many people and too many successes are not easily available.  Nowadays, there are many successful endowments that can be continued from the hands of previous generations. We should cherish the detours that our predecessors have gone through, try not to walk as far as possible, be good at drawing nutrition from our predecessors, be good at constantly strengthening the study of the new environment, be able to resist risks and master the balance of success.

There are also some people who may have a very small proportion, but the harm is very great. They regard evil ways, clever entrustment, deception, profit-seeking, corruption, and martyrdom as shortcuts to personal success. They regard the acquisition of huge wealth through improper means as a sign of success. This is contrary to the development direction of human civilization. Anyone who wants to achieve success by damaging the interests of others. It is wrong to set up one's own interests and has no future. We should lash out at those people who have incorrect views of success. There is no end to suffering. We should turn back to the shore and stop sinking into the dark abyss.

I can't say too much or too specifically, because everyone is a unique individual, everyone has his own unique life. But there are several things that are the magic weapon to success, that is, self-confidence, perseverance, diligence, perseverance, and not giving up; there are several things that are the patron saint of success, that is, kindness, self-reflection, self-knowledge, altruism, not greed. With these things, we will be closer and closer to success.

What are your life coordinates? Have you set it yet? If you set it, you will feel the joy of struggle, the joy of success and the sense of achievement of life with the realization of one's life goal at any time.

Remember, success is self-recognition.

Editor's evaluation: Guo Jianlan, a writer, planner and entrepreneur, wrote his prose collection "Say what you want to say" with the title inscribed by Jia Pingwa, a famous cultural scholar, Shangziyong, Yan Jianbin, and a preface written by Jifang. The book contains 400,000 words. Based on the author's real life experience and life thinking, it consists of eight chapters: ideological, life, economy, emotion, character, society, culture and song. On the one hand, it provides readers with a full and warm reflection of Guo Jianlan's life and wisdom of life. The most important feature of this book is that it does not lie. It covers the author's more than 40 years of life experience and life perception. It reflects the author's accurate grasp of the melody of the times, his keen sense of the life torrent, his unswerving adherence to positive energy literary values, and his deep and perceptual thinking of human survival and human ecology.

Author's brief introduction: Guo Jianlan, male, was born on July 13, 1970 in Hancheng, Shaanxi Province. Writers, playwrights, directors, social activists, veteran media, travel experts, planners, PhD in management. Member of Shaanxi Provincial Committee of China Zhigong Party, Executive Director of China Public Relations Association, Vice-Chairman of Performing Arts Committee of China Cultural Management Association, Chairman of Shaanxi Community Culture Construction Promotion Association, Member of Shaanxi Writers Association, President of Shaanxi Academy of Children's Literature, Chairman and President of Shaanxi Zhongyi-Mei Cultural Tourism Investment Co., Ltd. Over the past 30 years, more than 2 million literary works have been created, and more than 300 large-scale cultural tourism projects have been planned and implemented. As chief planner, playwright, producer and creator of dance drama "Dachang'an", "Xi'an Night", "Love in Hanzhong", "Hanzhong Night", etc., a total of more than 3000 performances. The songs "Great China", "Qianqiu Taishigong", "Call a Farmer's Good Brother" and "Great Chang'an" have been widely sung. Over the past 20 years, he has been engaged in public welfare and charitable undertakings. He has contributed more than 2 million yuan in total, and distributed free tickets for performances worth more than 20 million yuan to the community in Xian City. It has been praised by the media as "inspiration", as "China's top ten planning leaders" and "China's top 100 cultural management industries".